Manifestation

Ok, truth moment for a brief second. I suffer from daddy issues. I'm not all like woe is me, I'm gonna strip or whore out looking for love or anything like that. But, I have struggled since childhood with my identity.  Ive been finding out who I am and what I am as I go along day to day with no real concrete building block besides me knowing I have a problem. Growing up I figured out each family was unique and mine consisted of my mom and my granny and us kids. And so I knew there was a whole other side to me that I didn't know. Which in turn gave me these identity crisis's which at times were very problematic for me. I figured out that I didn't have alot of similarities with my mom so, who was I really? Each child needs to see themselves in their household in some fashion to solidify their role/purpose in life and I didn't have that.

They always say, speak things into existence. Think positive thoughts. I did this often as a child. Hoping and praying and wishing for the most basic of things. Things humans need for survival like love, affection, admiration, compassion. To no avail, they didn't show up (i.e my dad). So now, this has come back up in my life, being a reoccurring theme as of late in my household as we have been exploring our religious beliefs and searching for answers within our faith.

I have a regular job just like everyone else, living check to check trying to make a way but I'm venturing out, on a leap of faith, into this blogging world.
Why? Because as I'm finding myself, I'm realizing that no one is ever truly sure of who they are. I think once you THINK you know, you as a person has stopped evolving. You can't grow if your stuck in one place. I know I love to write. I know I love people. I know people love me. I know i have a passion. I know I wrote and read all the time growing up. I know I used to dream of being a journalist. I know I let my environment get in the way of that dream. I know that happened because I had no idea of who I was or what I wanted to become. I had no foundation.

Well at this point in my life I'm claiming my victory. I'm declaring my fate. I'm being patient and humble and accepting and learning and knowing that all these things ARE who I am. I believe in karma and what you put out is what you get, majority of the time. I believe I will carve my way, find my spot on this very large planet and call it mine. I'm restoring my faith which was taken away from me in childhood. I know what I'm not. I thank you guys for coming along.

I know I'm on way

Xoxo